I've returned with Intermittent Fasting *TW- self harm*

So I disappeared for a while... life got..bad to say the least. I fell into a deep dark ugly depression. Where I could barely get out of bed. I wasn't taking any care of myself or my apartment or anything. At my worst moments I was being suicidal & cutting. I was having such bad panic attacks that they were just hitting me all day long and I couldn't leave my apartment.

Things are slightly better right now. No more cutting & not being suicidal. But some things have gotten worse. My husband quit his job...just one night things got bad at work & had been building up for a while so he up and quit. It has been three weeks and he hasn't found a job. He isn't looking either, just watching movies & playing video games all day. I am very worried about money. Idk what we will do. To make it worse, no job = no insurance. Once my meds are gone I can't get them refilled or see my doctor. It is scary.


But besides that I am trying to focus on what I can control. My diet & health is one of those things.

I have been reading alot about intermittent fasting. Specifically Alternate Day 24 Hour Fasting. The plan is this:

Sunday: My free day/cheat day. Eat within reason but I can go off plan.

Monday/Wednesday/Friday: I eat 1400 calories but I stop eating by 5pm. So basically I can eat breakfast and lunch but skip dinner.

Tuesday/Thursday/Saturday: I skip breakfast & lunch but I can eat dinner after 5pm. I only get 400 calories these days though.

So it is a 24 hour fast every other day but I still get a meal each day of the week.

I think it fits my life alot better. As I can eat larger portions. I am actually quite used to skipping meals so I think I can transition into it fairly easy.

This is an interesting site that describes intermittent fasting: http://jamesclear.com/the-beginners-guide-to-intermittent-fasting


On top of that I am going partial vegetarian. I've tried vegetarianism before and my longest time with it is 3 months... this time I have decided to ease my way into it. I will refrain from eating meat Monday-Saturday, but on Sunday "my free day" I may eat meat. I am going to try and focus on free ranged stuff. My main reason for going vegetarian is that I care about animals. I don't think eating meat is wrong. I wouldn't be mad at the lion for eating the lamb. But I feel we should do so respectfully for the life and treat them with care. And we do not in any way shape or form. The slaughterhouse is cruel.

I also think it will give me a focus on what I eat and help me stay away from certain foods.

I am feeling really good about these changes and hopefully they help.

My "diet"

First ofcourse this is not a diet, this is a lifestyle. A diet can be great if you need to lose 5lbs for some upcoming thing but if you restrict yourself for a week as soon as you go back to eating normally you will just gain it all back, often plus more.

I have to have a plan that I can stick with for life. Which means no crazy restrictions for me. I enjoy food, I think that is fine. My problem is not with food, it is with myself and my choices.

I have counted calories in the past with much success. I use http://www.sparkpeople.com which is a great free website. But with my anxiety it can be a blessing & a curse. I tend to stress over every little detail. And when I am first counting calories I often relentlessly worry about getting enough vs too many. It is stressful for me. When I am first starting to make changes I have alot to take on at once. I think making things simpler to start with will help me. It is about taking steps. Today I take one, the next I take another. So yes I do plan on counting calories but I need to change my diet first.

Small steps are the key to success. So for now I am choosing to start small and just change my focus.

• Stop eating crap. I don't need fast food every week. I don't need to order pizza every week. I don't need to eat frozen pizza everyday...No junk food that I don't really even like. No more pop-I only drink diet but I need to drink water.
• Eat real food. Eat veggies. Eat fruit. Eat simply. 
• Watch my portions. I don't need to eat enough for 5 people. I do not need to eat until I feel so full that I am sick.
• I need to eat more balanced. Eat breakfast, eat lunch, eat dinner with some snack breaks in there. No more skipping meals until I am starving.

With those key points in mind. I am going to really shake stuff up diet wise. I plan on sticking with simple meals and adding like one big meal a week. I plan on working with fresh healthier foods.

So for breakfasts: oatmeal with fruit, eggs with veggies galore, smoothies
Lunch: eggs veggie packed, salads, sandwiches,
Dinner: again... eggs, salads, sandwiches & also stuff like chicken & rice & veggies or a big recipe I try for the week.
Snacks: fruit, veggies, trail mix, yogurt, smoothies

I like salads, eggs & sandwiches because they are healthy, made with real food, and have endless possibilities.