Feeling positive!

Having a much better day today! Yay me. I was able to walk down to the pharmacy and use the discount card so I only had to pay $15 for my medication! So that made me happy.

 I haven't napped in 3 days. It hasn't been easy. I think boredom is part of the problem. I need to summon the energy to get things done so I can keep myself busy during the day. I'd walk more but it is so muddy and slushy outside & somedays have been very chilly, it isn't very appetizing. But that partially feels like an excuse and I should just do it anyways.

I did walk today to the pharmacy so thats good. I might take another walk now, I haven't decided yet.

Food wise...things have been much much better then my norm. But not great overall. I am not eating healthy just eating less. And I know its about small steps. I can't go for perfection or I will fail everytime. But I do know I need to do better and I am tracking my food and seeing where I can improve.

For instance my breakfast of choice is this cinnamon oatmeal granola, which is to die for. I think making it with almond milk instead of milk would help cut carbs and add protein. I may also throw some almonds in it to bring up the protein and fat. Making it a more balanced breakfast.

 I am thinking sandwich and salad for lunches. Probably a grilled cheese using low fat cheese, turkey slices and whole wheat bread. The first time I ever lost alot of weight grilled cheese was my go to meal. It was warm and gooey a balanced choice and kept me full. Some cottage cheese and veggies or salad on the side its delicious and easy to make.

 And then for dinner experiment some with different dishes. Probably mix in eggs some nights for a cheap healthy meal, pack them with veggies. The other nights make chicken and do something with it. Finding some good ideas on pinterest. The only good thing about my husband working closes, is that he won't be home for dinner so I can just cook for myself and not worry about having to make something for him too, and then being naughty and eating bad myself.

Ofcourse the bad side is that with my current sleeping schedule I never see him. I am asleep when he gets home and still sleeping when he leaves in the morning. I have got to fix my sleeping. I am no longer napping but instead I am sleeping in really late. It is kindof like a trade off lol.

I want to start setting my alarm and getting up earlier but I am waiting until I have the nap situation worked out better. I am sleeping really well at night. Less tossing and turning, if I wake up I fall back to sleep fairly easily. I feel rested when I get up.

Oh I also had my weigh in yesterday and am down to 220 from 222.4lbs. So yay! I still admit that I am feeling slightly upset that I regained so much. I had been down to 207...so close to Onederland and to gain it back sucks and be just so far away again. But I am not letting it get me down. I will do it and this time no more regaining, no more stopping, no more giving up, no more excuses. I can do this.

Anyways I have a plan of action, so thats good :) I am feeling very determined & positive which is great.

So much is going on....

I have started tracking my food again. It is difficult still and can be overwhelming but I think it is worth it to see my blood sugar and how I gain or lose. So yay me.

Food wise I am not doing perfect. But I am getting better and that is what matters. Last night I made hamburgers for dinner and macaroni and cheese. I should have had a salad or veggies with it but I didn't :( But on the positive I would have usually eaten two hamburgers and I only ate one. I even only cooked one for myself. I was very proud of that.I am also eating fruit too. An apple or two everyday & I have grapes, watermelon and a melon to cut up.

I am also drinking more water yay! I filled up my brita water bottle and it helped alot. IDK why I drink more from a water bottle lol I am so weird. I need to get a second one so I can have one in the fridge cold and one drinking.

This morning my FBS was 161, higher then yesterday. I did have a bit of a big dinner and then foolishly drank sweet tea right before bed so that may have affected it.

My stomach was much better yesterday, not perfect but I wasn't just in ugh all day. Still some bathroom issues. TMI lol. But this morning I made a huge mistake of having a glass of cranberry juice and it wrecked me hard. IDK if it was because of the milk from my cereal or from the medicine, or some combination of all of it. But no no no. :(

Last night I slept well but falling asleep did not work out as planned. I had a very hard time sleeping. I felt something on my arm like a bug bite even though there was no mark.. and then I could not stop thinking about bugs crawling on me. So I kept "feeling" bugs and itching like crazy. I got up twice turned on the light, shook out my sheets. There was no bugs. I was just going crazy. Sigh.



I have my first therapy session Wednesday! eek I am so scared. The process of finding a therapist was incredibly difficult for one. But I finally found one and she just got in touch with me so yay. And her office is super close to where I live so I can walk there. I am so nervous omg.