Feeling positive!

Having a much better day today! Yay me. I was able to walk down to the pharmacy and use the discount card so I only had to pay $15 for my medication! So that made me happy.

 I haven't napped in 3 days. It hasn't been easy. I think boredom is part of the problem. I need to summon the energy to get things done so I can keep myself busy during the day. I'd walk more but it is so muddy and slushy outside & somedays have been very chilly, it isn't very appetizing. But that partially feels like an excuse and I should just do it anyways.

I did walk today to the pharmacy so thats good. I might take another walk now, I haven't decided yet.

Food wise...things have been much much better then my norm. But not great overall. I am not eating healthy just eating less. And I know its about small steps. I can't go for perfection or I will fail everytime. But I do know I need to do better and I am tracking my food and seeing where I can improve.

For instance my breakfast of choice is this cinnamon oatmeal granola, which is to die for. I think making it with almond milk instead of milk would help cut carbs and add protein. I may also throw some almonds in it to bring up the protein and fat. Making it a more balanced breakfast.

 I am thinking sandwich and salad for lunches. Probably a grilled cheese using low fat cheese, turkey slices and whole wheat bread. The first time I ever lost alot of weight grilled cheese was my go to meal. It was warm and gooey a balanced choice and kept me full. Some cottage cheese and veggies or salad on the side its delicious and easy to make.

 And then for dinner experiment some with different dishes. Probably mix in eggs some nights for a cheap healthy meal, pack them with veggies. The other nights make chicken and do something with it. Finding some good ideas on pinterest. The only good thing about my husband working closes, is that he won't be home for dinner so I can just cook for myself and not worry about having to make something for him too, and then being naughty and eating bad myself.

Ofcourse the bad side is that with my current sleeping schedule I never see him. I am asleep when he gets home and still sleeping when he leaves in the morning. I have got to fix my sleeping. I am no longer napping but instead I am sleeping in really late. It is kindof like a trade off lol.

I want to start setting my alarm and getting up earlier but I am waiting until I have the nap situation worked out better. I am sleeping really well at night. Less tossing and turning, if I wake up I fall back to sleep fairly easily. I feel rested when I get up.

Oh I also had my weigh in yesterday and am down to 220 from 222.4lbs. So yay! I still admit that I am feeling slightly upset that I regained so much. I had been down to 207...so close to Onederland and to gain it back sucks and be just so far away again. But I am not letting it get me down. I will do it and this time no more regaining, no more stopping, no more giving up, no more excuses. I can do this.

Anyways I have a plan of action, so thats good :) I am feeling very determined & positive which is great.

I just don't like raw carrots.

I have tried to appease my hummus addiction with sliced cucumber and carrots. The cucumbers were strange, not bad, but I am not sure if I liked it or not lol. I still ate it so eh. But no I do not like raw carrots and even dipping them in yummy hummus did not fool me into liking them. I like plenty of other veggies so I just need to stop forcing myself to try and like carrots. It isn't going to happen.

I went to the doctor yesterday. She upped my prozac by double so I am up from 20mg to 40mg. She also gave me propranolol to take as needed during a severe panic attack. She kept me on the same 2.5 of abilify. And said my blood sugar numbers were looking good and that we would talk more about diabetes stuff the next time I come in, in 2 months. I plan to be an all star by then :)

I think one thing that will really help me is a better meal plan. I find myself wasting food left and right because I buy alot and then don't have time to eat it all or end up eating something else. I need a plan that can be firm enough to have structure but with some wiggle room just incase something else comes up.

This is my idea for now. I wanna test my BS after each meal and play around if I need to.

Breakfast:
Eggs + veggies
Apple
maybe bread/toast?
1 day a week oatmeal IF after I test my BS it isn't crazy high after.

Lunch:
Salad

Dinner:
My "Big" meal of the day that changes each week. But ideally it would be 1-2 things that I can eat leftovers the other nights.
Ideas:
Fajitas which is my newest favorite thing I have learned to make
Pasta dishes with tons of veggies/little bit of pasta
chicken + veggies and/rice maybe
whatever my husband wants for dinner but smartly portioned and with veggies for me.


Ideally I would prefer lunch to be my big meal and stick with a salad for dinner. I think it would be wiser. But as I am alone for lunch but the DH is home for dinner. It would spell disaster as it tempts all my willpower to stick with a salad when he wants something yummy for dinner. I have to set myself up for success.

With this plan I will only need to be testing my BS around dinner to figure out what foods work and don't. I won't have to worry about breakfast or lunch ideas. It is simple and easy. Lower carb meals but not giving up carbs completely or even being all that low.

Hopefully this will all help budget wise and diet wise.

WIAW #1

One of the blogs I follow called Peas and Crayons (which is an amazing blog btw) does this WIAW (What I Ate Wednesday). Thought I would join in on the fun!



I actually am doing what I ate yesterday. Pfft day one and I am not even doing it right! lol

I had a very busy day of cooking new things yesterday but I actually ate horrible. I had red pepper hummus & reduced fat wheat thins. Which is one of my favorite things ever. I was planning on making cream cheese wontons. I was using the deep fryer my husband begged and wanted oh so badly for Christmas like 3 Christmases ago but has never been taken out of the box... So I had to unpack it, clean it and figure out how to use it.

The deep fryer is actually really nice and will be fun to use sometimes. But I am a moron and thought the almost full small bottle of oil would be enough. It was not...so my husband said he would go to the store and grab some quick. Three hours later I was still waiting... so yeah. He finally did go though so yay.

The cream cheese wontons are super easy to make and oh so yummy. My sister would get them at Panda Express & decided to try and make them herself and found a recipe online. You just take creamcheese, garlic to taste, add green onions = mix all that together. Scoop into wonton wrappers, wet the edges to seal. Then fry them up until golden brown. I love that the edges get all crispy but the center stays a bit moist. Even the DH loved them and pretty much ate all of them.

Then for dinner I decided to make lasagna rolls. I had seen it on pinterest using pepperoni. But I decided to make them with italian sausage instead.  I also had them at Olive Garden before. They turned out great. Very yummy. I need to remember next time to separate the noodles right away or they start to all stick together. Many noodles lost their lifes being ripped apart. RIP.

It was not as pretty as I had hoped. But delicious, and that is what really matters. I used ricotta mixed with 2 huge handfuls of spinach chopped, some garlic, a few shakes of parmesan cheese & mozzarella. Italian sausage and a store bought prego light & smart sauce.

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This morning I got up and took my morning walk. It was not a great start to my day really. I woke up right before the alarm when off- which is great. I feel so much more awake when I do that. I have to adjust my morning routine though because it takes me FOREVER to get out the door. Like 45 mins. I just am so slow in the morning.

I walked 0.95 miles for 23.30 mins & it felt like it was going to kill me. Meh so out of shape right now. I am being positive about it because I know right now it may feel like a killer but as I keep doing it things will get better. 

Tonight for dinner will be leftovers with a nice salad. I am planning on making Chicken & Avocado salad for lunch. Instead of mayo using greek yogurt. Because ewww mayo.


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Pet Wise:

Switching my kitties food. I am going to start giving them wet alittle at first and upping it so they mostly eat wet. I am also going to switch their dry to a different brand. I will be sure to mix it in with their old brand so they slowly adjust. No Worries!

Trixie is working on loose leash walking & stay/release/recall. I am making some slow progress. It takes alot of effort & patience.

My "diet"

First ofcourse this is not a diet, this is a lifestyle. A diet can be great if you need to lose 5lbs for some upcoming thing but if you restrict yourself for a week as soon as you go back to eating normally you will just gain it all back, often plus more.

I have to have a plan that I can stick with for life. Which means no crazy restrictions for me. I enjoy food, I think that is fine. My problem is not with food, it is with myself and my choices.

I have counted calories in the past with much success. I use http://www.sparkpeople.com which is a great free website. But with my anxiety it can be a blessing & a curse. I tend to stress over every little detail. And when I am first counting calories I often relentlessly worry about getting enough vs too many. It is stressful for me. When I am first starting to make changes I have alot to take on at once. I think making things simpler to start with will help me. It is about taking steps. Today I take one, the next I take another. So yes I do plan on counting calories but I need to change my diet first.

Small steps are the key to success. So for now I am choosing to start small and just change my focus.

• Stop eating crap. I don't need fast food every week. I don't need to order pizza every week. I don't need to eat frozen pizza everyday...No junk food that I don't really even like. No more pop-I only drink diet but I need to drink water.
• Eat real food. Eat veggies. Eat fruit. Eat simply. 
• Watch my portions. I don't need to eat enough for 5 people. I do not need to eat until I feel so full that I am sick.
• I need to eat more balanced. Eat breakfast, eat lunch, eat dinner with some snack breaks in there. No more skipping meals until I am starving.

With those key points in mind. I am going to really shake stuff up diet wise. I plan on sticking with simple meals and adding like one big meal a week. I plan on working with fresh healthier foods.

So for breakfasts: oatmeal with fruit, eggs with veggies galore, smoothies
Lunch: eggs veggie packed, salads, sandwiches,
Dinner: again... eggs, salads, sandwiches & also stuff like chicken & rice & veggies or a big recipe I try for the week.
Snacks: fruit, veggies, trail mix, yogurt, smoothies

I like salads, eggs & sandwiches because they are healthy, made with real food, and have endless possibilities.