My Meds Are Working!

So I had a great Christmas. We went to my inlaws and celebrated Christmas eve. Then on Christmas day we went over to DH's grandparents house for a bit.

The holidays are a perfect test of my meds, I am around a bunch of people. Usually it sucked big time. I am ultra quiet. I hang out by DH like I am glued to him. I have sneaked off to the bathroom to cry. I am so nervous that I make myself literally sick. I have panic attacks the entire time.

Well instead it was wonderful. It wasn't perfect, don't get me wrong. I didn't have some miracle change where I am a whole new person lol. I wasn't the life of the party, or a chatty cathy. But I only had one small panic attack when we first arrived. I wasn't sick with nerves. I talked to people some. I didn't cry which is always a good sign. I didn't feel the need to stick to DH as much.

Honestly it was a breath of fresh air. It means my meds are working. And I see a noticeable difference. I can't even express how happy that makes me. I can't wait to tell my doctor and therapist!

That was the greatest part of Christmas for me :)

Everyone seemed to enjoy the gifts we got them. Which I am glad :) I loved my gifts!

I wanted to redo my kitchen in purple and my wish was granted. I got purple hand towels, pot holders, serving spoons, all kinds of utensils, two cutting boards and best of all....purple plates. I can't tell you how excited I was over the plates lol. I seriously love them. They are the Rachel Ray collection.  They are round and square at the same time which makes them look really neat.

 

With a gift card I bought myself the fitbit zip. And I seriously LOVE it already. It is really neat. It tracks distance and steps. I know I am nowhere near 10k steps a day but hopefully this inspires me to try. What i really love about it is that it syncs with sparkpeople. So after my walk I can come home and sync it and it auto loads up my distance and time. So no more having to track it on my phone app and then putting it in manually. 

The only downside is that it is so tiny. I am so afraid I will lose it. I have it hooked to the inside of my bra so it won't fall off no matter what. Which it has a nice tight hook so I doubt it would come off easily. 

I also got a video game, Dragon Age Inquisition. I am a big fan of the other two dragon age games so I was pretty excited for this to come out. So far though I am not loving the game. Its very different from the other two and will take some getting used to for sure. Maybe once the story progresses I will like it more...hopefully. 

Anyways diet wise I did very well over the holidays. I ended up skipping lunch both Christmas eve and Christmas. So that helped I am sure. I didn't stuff myself or come even close either. I did eat some cheesecake and cookies though. It was delicious no regrets. :) It was Christmas. Exercise wise I took the dog for a walk around the block both days but that is it. Still I was moving so yay. 

Last night I also took a walk. I am trying once again to walk every evening. & I would like to then add walking in the morning too. We will see. The weather is beautiful right now so I should take full advantage of it.

Today I have a pretty busy day of cleaning, taking down all the Christmas stuff. I need to pick up the living room its a mess lol. And clean the rats cage and organize my bedroom alittle bit better. 

Busy with the holidays

I feel so busy. Yesterday we finished up our Christmas shopping and it took forever and running around to a bunch of different stores. So very tiring. I am really happy with what we got everyone and am excited for Christmas to come!

After we were done shopping we both were tired and hungry so we stopped at taco bell and I did not eat well :( I let hunger get the best of me.

Today I have been eating much better and still just as busy. I found a Christmas music station on iheartradio and listened to that as I wrapped presents. Which wrapping presents was a feat in itself with naughty foster kittens that were very interested in everything I was doing. So it consisted of me mostly shooing them away lol

After I finished the presents I needed to make a candle and some wax melts. I was making a few of a bunch of different scents to give to people. It is alot of work because it goes slow and has alot of downtime in between batches while I wait for them to cool. So that took me most of the day. But I am glad it is all done with, I just hope people like them.

The rest of the night I am going to try and relax I have another busy day tomorrow. I gotta get everything together, make my ziti I am bringing, and bathe the dog so she is pretty for christmas lol I haven't given her a bath for a while now since its been cold out so she definitely needs it. She is coming to my inlaws for christmas with us so she has to look her best.

Christmas eve we are headed to the inlaws and staying over for Christmas day. Then we will leave Christmas night because DH has to open the next day and he needs some sleep lol.

I love Christmas so much I can't wait! I am as excited as a little kid I swear lol

Another Positive Day

I am having another real positive day. Yesterday my FBS was 117. Which while not perfect is much better then it has been. And today my predinner BS was just 104! I actually felt alittle light headed as I am not so used to the lower numbers right now. But this is really good it means my numbers are coming down nicely and if I keep working at it like I am they should be where they need to be shortly. Yay me. I went to therapy today and it went really well. It is nice to have someone impartial to talk to about it that agrees with me. It eases my concerns. We also talked about my issue with Christmas dinner. We go to my inlaws and everything they make for dinner is stuff I do not eat- ham, polish sausage, potato salad. I just don't like any of it. And it puts me in this awkward predicament which for someone with panic disorder is really sucky. I don't want to expect them to make a whole other meal for me and yet my husband just wants me to wing it and find something to eat there. Like idk maybe he is embarrassed by his picky wife. But my therapist thinks I should just not even worry about it and bring a lasagna or something to eat that can be for everyone if they want it and Ill have something to eat. It sounds like a plan. I might do a baked ziti with roasted veggies. I saw a recipe that looked yummy. I can premake it all and put it together then just toss it in the oven to melt the cheese when I get there. I didn't walk today :( I wanted to but it was snowing with some harsh wind and after I got out of therapy I just wasn't feeling up to walking. Hopefully the weather is a bit nicer tomorrow. I didn't nap again today so that makes 5 days without taking a nap! But it was a real struggle not to. But I am realizing it seems to come with the boredom. I just need to find things to do. I didn't do much today at all. I did clean out my fridge & freezer which badly needed it. I can't go shopping till prob fri or sat but when I do ill have plenty of room to fill up. Anyways I am just happy and in a good mood :) My therapist even noticed and said I seem alot calmer and better. So maybe my new pills and upping the prozac is working!

Happy Memorial Day!

Today I am the mostest (yep mostest) proudest of myself ever!! Me, crazy super anxiety girl, not only went and met complete strangers, outside, by myself (well with Trixie), but I also walked in the parade. Yes tons of people all staring at me & taking pics/videos. I was a rock star.

It was so scary honestly, I had alot of almost chicken out moments. But I did it and I am happy & proud of myself. I even got a super sweet text from my DH saying how proud he was of me. ❤

A local groomer I was interested in was seeking more people to walk in the parade to represent them. I agreed to go. It wasn't a great workout, though moving at all is better then sitting on the couch! Under a mile and was very slow.

Trixie had a blast. As soon as we arrived she got so excited to see all the other dogs & people. But she got shy when we got over to everyone and hid behind me a few times. She was well behaved though. And met each dog. She was a huge fan of a sweet tempered girl named Pepper.

One of the best parts was getting to see a pony and they let me pet it! So soft!

It was alot of fun & I am very glad I did it.

Anyways... going shopping tonight. I have a great plan & shopping list.

I am feeling so amazing right now!