Slipping off track & regaining

I am not doing very well. I have slowly let myself slide off plan, so that I wasn't even completely aware of it. I get one little kink in my routine and I get so thrown off. I seriously hate it so much. Why do I let this happen?

Sleep is my big focus on staying on routine.My period hit and I was exhausted more then usual, my sleep schedule changed somewhat. It all just threw me off.

I stopped walking, working out. I stopped tracking my food, which led me to start eating off plan or eating more then I should. I then was eating bad so I stopped testing my blood sugar. It is a nasty cycle that can start with one little kink and just spin out of control.

But I caught myself this time. I can recover & get back on plan. I just have to stay focused.

I think the big problem I have is just that I feel overwhelmed. So much is going on in my life right now. I feel exhausted just trying to focus and balance it all. It is too much and it makes me want to give up.

I gained alot of weight back this week and that really hit me hard. I am never going to get anywhere if everytime I take a step forward I take two backwards.

I just need to focus, lay off the excuses and get it done.

The good news is I got my bike finally!! Woohoo! I have so so so been missing having a bike. I am very excited to try it out....and nervous as hell. My anxiety is through the roof. Because omg I will have to be outside....where people will see me. What if I forgot how to ride a bike? What if I look stupid? What if I fall or crash? What if I can't make it up a hill because I am fat and out of shape?

I know rationally that I shouldn't care. It will be fun and it gives me freedom to go places myself. But it is still so difficult to get past all the fear. It so robs the joy out of it.

 My bike's color is Magenta. It is hard to tell in the pics. It isn't that dark though.



Today i am taking the bus down to the store to return the cargo rack I got for it and get a different one. The one I got was missing screws and bolts lol. Once I get a cargo rack on it I can go shopping and also take my dog with me. Ill just strap her carrier to the cargo rack. Then I can ride down to the park and let her play! I really wanna get a basket for her to ride upfront in but it is a bit expensive so will have to wait prob until my birthday at the end of sept.

Anyways my goal is to start working out again- walking, riding my bike, doing the wii. Track all of my food! And blog more, maybe it will help me stay focused and catch myself if I start to fall off again.