Stopped a binge!

So this morning I woke up and dragged myself out of bed. I really didn't want to get up. My bed was warm and cozy. But I got up and took my morning walk which wasn't that bad. It wasn't too chilly and the wind wasn't too bad.

Then things took a bad turn. I bought a big bag of trail mix and I just binged out eating almost the entire bag. Almost 1k calories. :( I am so so so mad at myself. I kept saying just one serving more, one more....and then I tracked it and wow, it adds up fast.

Then my DH came home from work early and wanted me to order pizza. I decided to be smart and I got myself thin crust with just onions and green peppers on it. Which is really not that bad of calories for a serving. But I started binging again. Pizza is a trigger food for me, its really hard for me to stop.

But I stopped! I ate alot. But mid binge I argued with myself and was able to stop. Such a big part of me kept saying you already screwed up might as well keep going. But I didn't listen. This is an amazing breakthrough for me.

I have mixed emotions between being mad at myself for binging on the trail mix and then on the pizza and being happy that I was able to stop.

Tomorrow is my weigh in and its not looking good. But it shouldn't be horrible either. Hopefully. Not a great start to the new year. sigh

And my evening walk was canceled because it was raining and the rain mixed with all the snow was making it super slippery. I started to walk but had to turn around and go home.

Yesterday I walked over 7500 steps. On my way to 10k a day!

I didn't get my room cleaned today. DH came home and took a nap and I didn't want to bother him. But I will get it done tomorrow. I am going to clear a space out so I can do yoga and workout in and bring the dvd player and wii in to the bedroom so I can workout in privacy. No more excuses.

So I have alot of mixed emotions. Some good stuff some bad. I just need to take a deep breath, relax and look towards tomorrow. Wish me luck I need it.